


Of All The Things

by saweeet47



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/F, Relationship(s), So much angst, shiara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 05:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8274890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saweeet47/pseuds/saweeet47
Summary: Shepard has a feeling that she's not going to make it back from the final mission. She writes a letter for Liara.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly people, this is just how i think my Femshep feels about Liara, it's sad and depressing and i haven't stopped crying. 
> 
> I was listening to the extended version of Lost Without You from Mass Effect, when i wrote this and it made me cry more so go do that if you want.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: not my characters because if they were, shepard would be alive

_Liara,_

_I don't know how to start this, I don't know how I’m going to write this._

_I can't explain it but I think this is it._

_I think this is my last mission, my last time by your side._

_I wish it didn't have to be like this but what else can I do?_

_You know me better than anyone, you know I can't just get lost in space with you and forget about the rest of the galaxy. The galaxy needs me and it doesn't care about what I need._

_Which is you._

_It's always been you._

_I don't think I would have made it this far with out you, Liara. They think I'm this unstoppable force, this hero that has no weakness, their saviour but they should be thanking you._

_Liara T'soni._

_Archaeologist, expert on Protheans, information broker, talented biotic and the love of my life. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you._

_You truly are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Liara. From the day we met, to the day I died and then came back, it's always been you. I died thinking of you, I came back thinking of you and I’ll die again with a smile on my face, knowing that I have loved and been loved by you._

_I wish it weren't like this, I hope you know that._

_But I think we all knew it was going to end like this._

_It's me or the galaxy._

_And if that wasn't enough for me, knowing that you're living, that others will be blessed with the sound of your voice... that's enough for me. More than enough._

_I wish I had more to say. What would you want to hear?_

_I don't know._

_I love you._

_I love you so much, I feel like my entire being, every cell or gear in this body, loves you so completely. So wholly that when you're not around, I ache. Which sounds like a poem Ash would recite but it's true, Liara._

_I love you._

_I've been unsure about a lot. When I sounded sure, when I persisted, when I told everyone about Saren, the Collectors, the Reapers. I was always doubting myself, always had this part in the back of my head that said, maybe it's not real._

_But never with you._

_Never with you, Liara._

_I have always known that it was you, that you'd be the only thing that I would love so purely. That I could love with my entire being._

_I wish I spent more time with you._

_I wish it wasn't just before a mission. I wish I didn't spend my time proving to James that I could beat his pull up record, and yeah, I know you appreciated it that night. But honestly, I could have spent that half an hour looking at you._

_Looking at you._

_Listening to you._

_Loving you._

_But I never do stop that, I'm always loving you._

_Maybe you know that but I don't know if you do._

_When we meld, you feel what I feel but I don't know if you can truly comprehend how I feel about you. I am so entirely in love with absolutely everything about you._

_I have travelled the galaxy, I have seen wonders and I have seen so much beauty._

_And I may be sounding a little repetitive but none of it compares to you._

_I love you, I wish it wasn't like this._

_Maybe in another life._

_Maybe we could meet in a galaxy where we're safe, I used to think that'd be boring but now, I think I’ve had enough danger, I’ve died too many times. I've lived too many years without you._

_I wish I met you before all of this._

_I should probably end this, I think this is around the time you come up the elevator and walk down those stairs, with that way you walk, that soft smile and those beautiful eyes and you say my name and I’m always so surprised at how much I love you._

_Every single time I see you, I’m overwhelmed with love. Like it washes over me and I’m happy to drown in those feelings._

_I just--_

_I love you so much Liara._

_I've saved the citadel, I've saved worlds, I’ve saved so many people and I think I'm about to die to save the entire galaxy, that makes me special right? That makes me someone. People look at me, people say my name like it's important. Like I’m important. Commander Shepard._

_I never feel it._

_I never feel special, or important. They don't know me. They know that I'll try to save them, that I want to save everyone. They know what I do. They don't know me._

_They don't know me._

_You know me._

_And you love me._

_And when you look at me, when you smile at me, when you say my name, when you hold my hand... I feel important, I feel special, I feel loved._

_Thank you, Liara._

_You have made this worn out soldier so happy, you have made me feel like a person again, not a weapon, not the saviour, just me... Jane Shepard. I don't know what I did to deserve your love._

_Shepard and Liara._

_It's written in the stars. Our love._

_My love._

_You mean everything to me, Liara. You always will._

_I love you so much, Liara T'soni._

_I'll miss you,_

_Shepard._

 

 

_P.S. Of all the things I’ve done in my life... loving you was by far my favorite._


End file.
